Libs cash giveaway…and no free set of steak knives!

Yesterday saw the official launch of the Coalition’s election campaign. It was certainly one to remember! Little Johnny, still trailing badly in the opinion polls, has decided that ‘me tooism’ is the way to go by plagiarising a number of the Kruddsters’ policies.
Yesterday, the pork barrelling intentions increased by a whopping $10bn to cover what the ALP calls ‘home values’. All of the sudden our PM has come up with funds to cover Childcare, Kindergarten, School expenses etc. On top of this the PM is offering slightly higher tax breaks than the ALP on savings accounts for potential first home owners.

One can only assume that Little Johnny and Smirkless Pete C must have had a couple of good nights at the casino playing roulette to be able to give away all this dosh! Is it a shameless push for votes? Will the electorate be influenced by these announcements? Are these core or non-core values? Time will show if the Coalition are onto a winner, or are in fact, playing ‘Russian Roulette’!

This week sees the launch of all the major parties campaigns. On Wednesday the Kruddster and co get their chance to give away lots more money.

The Keys ’07 team are starting to think that this election campaign is starting to resemble the quiz show ‘Deal or no Deal’.

The Election Mass Debates!

Well, with just over three weeks to go the political activity is certainly hotting up. Pork barrelling is the order of the day it seems. Rumour has it that every household will be receiving a set of steak (pork) knives courtesy of the Government any day now.

So far we have had three stimulating (???) debates between the two main parties.

At the moment the scorecard reads as follows:

- Kruddster shaded Little Johnny by a piece of earwax.
- The Swanster biffed big Pete Costello (where has the smirk gone???).
- Nicky R trounced Mad Monk Abbott even before he turned up!!

So 3-0 to the ALP at the halfway mark. Will Little Johnny and his band of merry persons (PC correct wording) be able to turn it around? Only time will tell. Will Channel Nine’s worm make any more appearances? Or will it be sleeping safely in Ray Martin’s toupee erm....I mean custody?

Yesterday, Mad Monk had a day that he would rather forget. Not only was he forced to apologise to a terminally ill patient, he then arrived late for the mass debate with Ms Roxon and then spewed forth the words ‘bulls**t’ when he realised that he forgot to set the DVD recorded to tape the ‘Bold and the Beautiful’.

Things are certainly hotting up. Can life get more exciting than this????

Welcome one and all to the ‘Keys to the Lodge 07’ blog!

What we will be doing over the next few weeks is covering the forthcoming Australian Federal Election on a daily basis (work and hangovers permitting) to bring you the most creovative™ coverage. It’s the true battle of the nerds. Little Johnny versus the Kruddster! Only one man will be successful – who will it be?

We have put together an experienced team of bloggers that will be reporting on the issues that mean a lot to you. These will include how often John Howard trims his eyebrows (note to John – get a sharp pair of tweezers, your eyebrows are very thick!); how many babies the PM and Kevin Rudd hug (and how many babies cry); who is the first to go to a pole dancing club; who orders the middy of light beer and who visits the most schools. Other matters will be covered as and when they arise.

Our fashionista in residence will also be commenting on the political styles of the day (any Zegna suits or fishnets on the horizon etc).

Periodically, we will be adding a dosis of cartoons and pictures (subject to copyright). At times, we might be able to learn a thing or two from like-minded voters from across the globe. Regular polls are also part of the repertoire. Feel free to participate and also leave comments.

We welcome any suggestions that you may have and will include them where we can.
Yes, elections are fun times for all!

Come back for more…